caught in colour

tin.

2011-02-01T23:45:00.003-07:00

it's been a day and a half

since we spoke

and i sometimes go to say something,

anything,

to you.

but i'm no longer sure

because my heart is beating out

this doubt that creeps on my skin

and over my eyes

and i feel like it's got me.

so can you give me another five minutes

or so

before i call you back

on our tin can phones that i made

for us so many years ago.

be vigilant.

2010-11-29T22:56:00.004-07:00

if you step out onto

a crust of snow

there is always a chance of breaking it and ruining

the perfect landscape,

marring it with your ugly boot prints

and the broken looking holes

where brown prairie weeds are revealed

and you will know

that you have done this

if it weren't for your stepping it would have remained

so crisp and smooth

all the way until spring

if only you had trod more carefully,

shame.

will.

2010-11-29T22:29:00.002-07:00

will i stand

will i stay

will i have enough strong forces

for tomorrow

can i think the thoughts

that are better

can i let the awfulness of possibility

slip for a moment

to enjoy the life that is mine right now

right now

will i stand

will i stay.

caught.

2010-11-29T22:16:00.004-07:00

certain days,

there is an incessant rhythm.

it is pounding

it is pulling

it is dragging soul

and sighs into it's vortex,

where all the colours of your intentions

mix up to muddy brown.

maze.

2010-11-19T14:33:00.004-07:00

bright white halo masking yellow light and blue

horizons behind soft, blanketed

rooftops, crowded with winter's lace -

there is a bird sits

atop it's weighted wire

unmoving cold claws clinging.

graceful jerk of neck towards

distant crinkling branches in

this higher winter world,

heedless to the squeak of beings

below, their tread upon the ground

a topographic maze of white and brown.

study break.

2010-11-05T20:48:00.002-06:00

you were dressed in orange

head in hand

white kitchen light glowing down

on your evening at the table

glowing down on your piano teeth

and your feather hands

and your nest of papers

you are the soundtrack to these words.

keep.

2010-11-05T20:43:00.002-06:00

there is a kind of floating

that can be done

it can

it can be done

when you let

the song

it will carry you

in that way

in that way like human voices do

like they do you up

and keep out empty cold

pink.

2010-11-05T20:32:00.005-06:00

it was a sudden

lilting

without a breeze that brought me here

it was a piece of

cotton

candy stuck between your fingers

that was all i could think of

that silty past with it's

sickening sweet hopefulness

that this is not

the way life is

not

the way you have to keep conjuring your days up

drowning in naiveté

sewn.

2010-07-08T09:46:00.004-06:00

if you have the sensations

in your fingertips

if you have the sense

will you buy the idea

that once in a while you can use your hands

to fold

to press

to cut through the thickness of it all.

words.

2010-07-05T10:31:00.004-06:00

i will take your words

and twist them quietly until

they make me think

you see me

you love me

you know me

for who i wish i was

you will take my eyes

and turn them around until

they make you think

i see you

i need you

i know you

for who you really are

ancient.

2010-06-07T10:52:00.008-06:00

i haven't had breakfast

who is this i am now?

she is a person who wears a mood

like a cloak

and allows herself to be under

several guises that

she puts on on purpose

knowing no one can take this from her

no one can take this knowledge

it's her invulnerable ritual

thursday

2010-04-29T08:20:00.003-06:00

she called it a cafe au lait,

although it wasn't quite the same

but in that moment the morning

was so right and everything felt

charming and full and rich

who has experienced hope like this before?

she wondered as she sipped and lingered

in the pocket of time she felt god had given her

sifting.

2010-03-22T12:49:00.006-06:00

i sift

through this culture

with it's warmth and humanity

and it's people who are growing out of it

and soft snow on the fence

across the road

is layering again

the way that weather does

even in our homes and blogs

the elements continue to enfold

as our connection to dirt and water

churns

underneath our daily thoughts

imperatives.

2010-02-07T22:57:00.004-07:00

one more night

in the soft light of melody

that plays over me and glows into my veins

one more night

in the comfort of a moment

that makes allowances for my frivolity

if only to surprise me with

sharp, jilted

evidence of neccessity

in the absence of such.

spring inside.

2010-02-07T22:21:00.004-07:00

fall

as choral voices soften your landing

sing

a zephyr's song

allow your thoughts

to run free from weighted words

and the heavy misunderstanding

of your surroundings.

blossom truly now

as your corners curl

and open in this daylight you have walked into.

exhale.

2010-01-17T16:47:00.005-07:00

this is the best part of the day

looking through bare branches

into colour,

the coolness of descending twilight.

it is here that i am easily absorbed

pulled in by pinks

that flash across cold blue and yellow atmosphere

i become

surrounded by thin vapour,

the movement of my limbs

a feeble dance in response to the falling beauty

of the last lights of this day.

night sounds.

2010-01-05T23:16:00.005-07:00

whistle of

water changing into steam

gentle heavy sleep breath

rustling feathers between fabric,

hair and ear on pillow.

quiet clicking fingertips on glowing plastic letters

distant idling engines

humming gas heater,

circulating dust throughout.

Christmas, you sparkle.

2009-12-28T21:44:00.005-07:00

From a distance you are enticing,

with your visions of lit-up trees

in snow covered woods.

Carol of bells playing over and over,

your season saturates the night.

Evenings become sad and mysterious

with their mix of childhood reminiscence

and disappointment.

Silver tinsel bells hung in doorways,

1960's party dresses,

black and white santas on video.

Cool morning light

and unwrapped presents

lined up under unlit trees on boxing day,

the silence of sipping coffee in a rocking chair.

You are Christmas.

You, who are silent with me,

and celebrating another year

of togetherness, and of separation.

All feasting and candles

and allusions of fireplaces on crispy walks,

you sparkle and crackle in my heart.

odd.

2009-12-16T19:57:00.003-07:00

it's odd to be here

(in the in-between)

where the rush of stepping off

the cliff has passed

and the light of future falters

just an inch away

but i find that in this oddness

there is still dancing

there is still moonlight

and there is still celebrated colour

rabbit with a lame foot.

2009-12-14T21:56:00.008-07:00

white in my back alley,

you run scatterbrained across my headlights.

scatterbrained with your red eyes and your lame foot.

i feel you eating at my heart and

can't

help

but

call out at the site of you.

all your cuteness and wildness captured

as you blend into the snow bank.

i want to carry you up in my arms

but your feral fright would keep me from you.

skin & summer.

2009-12-08T22:34:00.007-07:00

in drifts of white

softening the crunch of tires

muffling the fall of mittens

that get lost,

in crisps of ice

hardening the rays of sun

melting only in short breaths

caught in speech,

in frosts of night

creaking across frigid floors

relief found in retreat back

under covers,

conjure summer -

light clothes whispering over warm skin

canvas runners

driving barefoot

the sweetness of honeycomb filling

the senses

prairies endless in their green golden glory and skies

and breathe in this country,

this life,

this constant remembering and looking forward

this fullness.

these feelings are all colours-

2009-11-29T01:05:00.004-07:00

shining feelings,

bright new feelings

- this time it takes more out of you

- this time it takes more from you

roadside feelings,

bedside feelings

- this time there is a cloud on you

- this time a veil is over you

mask

for one moment, please

ask

to let go of these

hard feelings

these hard feelings are the

life in me

the pull in me

whimsy.

2009-11-18T20:48:00.004-07:00

caught between scentless

and difficult. period.

add another small dash of

"can't" and find that you seep through,

anyway

you are your own signpost

golden.

2009-11-16T00:19:00.004-07:00

legends of blue

are sweeping through this night

close your eyes and

let these sleep thoughts

carry you

yet another

piece of your aqua sea

golden in time

frozen while your

body thaws

yes.

2009-10-18T00:24:00.004-06:00

in the clearing

in the morning

is where i find myself

never you mind,

she says, her hands dusted with flour

and tanned from the sun

never you mind where you came from,

'cause today is the only thing that you know

and you're in it

and that is all.

too grave thoughts

2009-10-16T22:48:00.003-06:00

when too grave thoughts

fill me

let a laughing moment

be my breathing

let a warm-ish winter

wind blow through me

when too grave thoughts

are under me

let the crush of autumn

fetch a memory

let the idle noise of

night bring "still" to me

try

2009-10-04T17:11:00.004-06:00

in the grey

of sunday afternoon

you do not try

i observe from within my

dawdling dowdy fall clothes

i need a proper coat

i'm stuck in myself again

and you do not see me

i could let you

but don't have the energy

i crawl

2009-09-29T21:50:00.003-06:00

life is crawling sometimes

crawl to your next

fork in the road

pausing, your yellow feathers

or tentacles

or whatever

feeling the breeze

sniffing for clues

north wind blows

too much scent away,

away from this moment

and from where you came from

leaving you blank,

and odourless

hamburger stew

2009-09-28T18:07:00.006-06:00

it tastes like how

mom used to make it

keith green record blaring

dark out already

6 pm

waiting by the window

and the fern

in my prized

yellow & blue

rutland voodoos

hand-me-down

t-shirt

trying too hard either way

2009-09-24T21:53:00.002-06:00

i'll be

your colour for today

let me wash over you

hide you in translucence

carry you like i'm the water

you're the raft

i'll be

a rat in your river

a rowboat 'round the bend

crash into my weather

wear words for protection

from my wind

way underneath

2009-09-23T20:44:00.001-06:00

disappear

under layers of clothing

layers of make-up

and hair dye

and trinkets

trinkets

i tie

around my wrists and

neck and fingers

and ankles.

deep down

way underneath

sit in the shelter

of my

woman-made cocoon.

rhetorical Q.

2009-09-23T20:39:00.003-06:00

i was a scent-hound

in my past life,

alert to clues

carried by the wind

i was a gypsy once -

crystal ball,

colourful scarf,

creating illusions

where did i really

come from.

who am i.

l&b

2009-09-23T20:37:00.001-06:00

strong links have

kept me here

a clasp is on my leg

my body floats

above

while one part still remains

i wanna loose the grip

but i can't find the key

i'll float here for a while

grounded only by

life and breathing

3.

2009-09-23T20:23:00.003-06:00

is there still time?

how do i account

for these unwritten

passages

marking my existence

maybe there is no

room left for

accounting

all this figuring and

frugalness

has left me numb

on ice, thaw me

2.

2009-09-23T20:18:00.002-06:00

something

opened

clicked

and poured

the me in me awakened

tossing with rambling

pieces of pictures

this sleepless inspiration

muse

1964

2008-11-29T21:55:00.009-07:00

somewhere in my consciousness

a place i never lived

a time i was not part of

an old suitcase

coca-cola and a

painted

wooden

porch

i am sitting in the hot sun

now fading

this paint

cracked and drying

this old wood

once winter weather beaten

now a shadow box

for trees and birds wings

i breathe one still breath